Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Well, well, well - look who we have here

I did the inevitable. I took a break from WoW. My last blog update, and the only blog update of 2014, until this one of course, was in January; but no, that's not when I started my break. That's perhaps when I should have started my break. Should I have had my break then, things might be quite different from now. But no, I did the worst thing I could do - went mysteriously inactive for a time too long, and announced my break to what was left of my guild sometime during the summer. Kinsey was on a break, Lanfranco was on a break and not even certain if he'd play in Warlords of Draenor or not. I made the decision to put down the mantle of the Hex Machine for the time of my break, and made a trusted guildy the guild master. But that didn't work out, and the guild remained rather inactive until my return in the midst of this month. I made my return the night before the Warlords patch went live. The following day, there I was again, on World of Warcraft, alongside my good friends and co-guild masters Lanfranco and Kinsey, feeling excited about the game after so long. Lanfranco's face looked bloody awesome.

I returned to be a part of no raid team. I returned burdened with feelings of sadness, guilt and regret - feelings I'll probably never be able to shake off completely. I returned to a dying guild - yes, it is about time I admit Menagerie is a dying guild. Our Menagerie. The least I can do is lay the guild to rest honorably, just once I can gather my bones together to be the guild master I should have been all along. It's not impossible that Menagerie would one day rise to raid again, but for now I don't possess the motivation, energy or time to do it. And, I secretly admit that I'd like to be just a regular raider for a while. Imagine me saying that! I, who once said I could never imagine not being a guild master anymore. But now, as I've been that for over three years now, I could swear I'd never take that position again. It is an exhausting job, and I truly give my respects to anyone who can do that actively for years.

Finally - after four years and over 200 attempts.
 To be honest, I made a terrible guild master in the first place. I am too proud and too stubborn for a position like that. And too kind, as well. I never really understood why anyone would like to be in a guild with Nicasia as the holder of the highest rank. Must have been because of Kinsey and Frank. I enjoy being very hard on myself emotionally, and carrying the weight of a guild on my shoulders just isn't a good addition to that.

But yet, to have been the guild master of Menagerie is one of the greatest honors I have received in my life, and an experience I have learnt much from. Each and every member of the guild, current and past, has my heartfelt thanks for being a part of that crazy ride. Menagerie achieved a lot, not only in the way of raiding. While guilds are known have lived longer than that, not many do in the end. And not many mean as much to their founders as my guild does to me. No other guild will ever be referred to as my guild, for there is no guild I can feel as proud of as I do of my Menagerie.